I was behind in my studies for a good three quarters of the year, but, with some powerful affirmations, I managed to get on track by the end of the year and prove to myself that I can study on time. I also, with the help of those affirmations (words are powerful, if you ask me), begun to study more positively and work on fixing those terrible habits of doubt and negativity that had been the result of being behind for so long. I moved back to my positivity, even when I didn’t feel positive, I used my optimism to balance the doubt and stress – something I’d totally forgotten how to do.
The year felt like it was all about study and that’s really how it needed to be. But I learnt so much about how I study and how to try and study better and more positively. I think the work I did last year will help me greatly with the challenges of studying on-campus this year.
My word for 2015 was Enjoy and it was the first word I’d chosen that actually felt like it was meaningful. Its purpose was to remind me my main activity needed to be study and everything else had to be something I did because I’d enjoy doing it, no pressure. Obviously, this didn’t work 100% of the time but it did help me, especially in those first 6 months, not feel guilty if I couldn’t do much other than study.
Enjoy is a word I feel I need to remember and continue with, as I kept telling myself last year – if I’m not enjoying it, what’s that point? There are some things you need to do, enjoy or not, but I put a lot of pressure on hobbies and it’s not worth it if all it does is stress me out!
I’ve successfully switched to a Bachelor of Arts and am really looking forward to studying History and English and German this year, as well as some random things. I feel this is much more in line with my dreams of being a writer. I’m glad I tried teaching, because now I know. Writing is too much of a passion to wait years while I build a different career (trying to change a whole system as I did) before I could make time for it.
So, goodbye 2015! Hello 2016!